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So I put a listing under the personals section and I figured I would at least look for some female companionship (shhh, don't tell my wife) for the concert. I wasn't looking to get lucky or anything, as a matter of fact, I said that in the ad, that I was just looking for a female "friend" to attend the concert with, dinner and the tickets were on me, and I just wanted someone who liked the band and was nice to talk to. Then I waited.The next day I had three or four responses when I checked my email. I went thru them pretty quickly. Two were gay guys looking to hook up... delete... one was a lady that lived four hours away... ignore, and then there was one from a local girl at the college. Hmmm... that could be interesting. She said her name was Kari, and that she was a huge Deftones fan and that she had really wanted to go to the concert but that it was already sold out and she was very disappointed.That sounded pretty good. So I emailed her back and explained why I didn't have anyone. Suddenly, you feel a force on the bottom of your boat, elevating the port bow noticeably. You go to look at what caused it, trying to steady yourself all the while. You look under the front of the ship and notice something big beneath it, something with a fish's tail. You go to run back to your rod and hope you can land whatever the hell just hoisted part of your boat up, but before taking two steps, whatever it was went back under, dropping the port bow all of a sudden. The sudden drop and your shifts in weight that were supposed to help keep you up cause you to fall into the ocean. Now you have a problem, you didn't lower the ladder, so you'd need to climb on a whale or hitch a ride on a dolphin to make it back up to the deck of your boat. Down here, you can't even call for help, your only real hope is another boat passing by soon and noticing you. You wait for what seems like an eternity, until finally, you're too tired to tread water anymore. As you sink to a watery grave, you.
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